I hate not being able to do what I want to do. I hate not being able to draw what I see in my head the way I want it. I hate watching cliques form between good artists because they're already friends and they (mostly) unintentionally form pairs with their characters. I hate feeling jealous because they draw art for each other. I hate wanting to get in on their group because I want to be a part of it too. I hate feeling inadequate. I hate feeling like no matter what I do, I'll never be good enough. I hate being stressed about not being good enough. I hate wishing I was good enough.

But most of all

I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS.

I'm fine the way I am. I've got positive points and negative points. I can write. I'm not the best, I'm not the worst, but I'm good at it and I enjoy it for itself. I like being able to read a 300+ novel in 6 hours. I'm pretty good at baking. I'm pretty good at organizing, too. I like Role Playing Games even when I'm only good at some of them. I like making things. I like taking things apart.

I'm not good at a lot of things, I've got things I need to improve on even on the stuff I am good at. So it's okay to not be the best at sketching or drawing or coloring what I manage to produce. It's okay that I'm mediocre at best, because I know that. I know that practice will help and I know that at worst, I'll stay as I am. I'm okay with that. I'm okay with trying and seeing what I can do. I'm impatient, I can't deny that, but I'm going to work on it and changes will follow.

I just have to keep on.

Go me! /fistpump!